Our original plan was to stay in Idaho with my mom from the 9th of December, on through part of January. But, when my doctor decided that he could squeeze in a surgery for me before the end of the year we agreed that, that would be the best choice for us. The only day he could do it was on the 22nd of December. So our plan was to drive down on Tuesday night the 22nd, have the surgery on Thursday morning, then jump in the car, as soon as I was cleared by the hospital to leave, for the drive back to Idaho.
Lilah looking adorable in my hair net, before surgery.
This surgery has been a long time coming and I was excited about possibly finding some answers to the pain. Here’s the back story so that I can have it all written down for me. As a warning, this post may contain TMI for some of you, so read at your own risk. I however, want to remember the details.
After having Lilah back in June 2010 I found myself in a whole lot of pain. “Well duh,” you might say, “you just had a baby.” That’s also what I told myself. I told myself that this must be what everyone feels and that it would pass. During my first week home with our new baby I started realizing that something might be wrong, but I was in denial and felt guilty even questioning whether I could be in more pain than some other women. All I knew for sure was that I had hemorrhoids , and that I torn quite bad (categorized at a 2nd degree but Dr said it was on the verge of being a 3rd degree). That was somewhat normal, as far as I had heard, and didn’t explain all the pain I was in.
I ended up going into the doctor 2 times before my six week appointment to see what they could find. On the first appointment they were a little concerned with how little I had healed, but gave me some cream and sent me home. On my second appointment they found the first real issue. Apparently I was allergic to dissolvable stitches. I had wondered why they were all still there, but didn’t even know you could be allergic to them. They were reacting with my flesh and causing a lot of inflammation. They had to manually take out each and every stitch. I never want to have to experience someone digging slivers out of my very inflamed girl parts ever again! The nurse apologetically told me that 2 small peaces had broken off in the process that she could not get to and that I would have to try and work them out over time… Because of how painful this experience was, I assumed that that must have been my problem and that I would now start to recover.
Within a few days I realized that this was far from the truth. The stinging from the stitches was gone, but there was a deep and sharp aching that never seemed to fade. From there began the real searching. I did a lot of research online. I was tested for pretty much everything you can think of. I was looked at by many doctors & nurses. I was sent in for 2 different ultra sounds (internal & external). I was checked out by a vein specialist. I was sent to 10 weeks of therapy with a pelvic floor dysfunction specialist, and found nothing that took the pain away.
I started tracking my pain around the 6 month postpartum mark and noticed that I was experiencing pain about 50% of the days, but it was becoming more and more frequent. In 2 months it climbed to 87% of the days.
While seeing my therapist she found a strange bump in my vaginal wall that caused a lot of pain when it was touched, so I questioned my OB doctor about it. He was hopeful, and thought it sounded like a ‘nerve bundle.’ He said that when I tore so badly, my nerves could have healed up into a bundle in that particular area. The only way to find out if this was true was to do some tests. We decided to inject the site with an anesthetic/steroid solution. He warned me that it would hurt because of the stinging solution & because it was being injected into a nerve bundle. He had to give me 3 of them… I did not expect it to hurt that bad.
The first shot didn’t work. The pain got worse. My painful days increased to about 96% . We did a 2nd shot (Oct 17, 2010). It was the most painful shot of all, but something amazing happened. I was pain free for 7 days… I can’t even tell you what that felt like. I didn’t realize how bad it had been until I was reminded what pain free was. I laughed a lot that week. I smiled a lot. I got a lot done. I felt like I could take on the world. I also cried and gave thanks that we had actually found something.
Then, the pain came back. I was still filled with an incredible gratitude for the path that had led me to some sort of answer, but worried about how the problem could be resolved.
This brings me to the surgery. We would do 1 more injection before I was put under. Then they would do a laparoscopy to explore what could be going on inside. They found some endometriosis and cauterized it. It was concentrated on the same side and area as the nerve bundle. My doctor thinks that is not a coincidence. The endometriosis is not the main pain culprit, but could be causing the nerve bundle to fire. Dr Thorpe is hopeful that when I heal from the cauterizing that I will be pain free.
As for now, I am still in pain. I don’t know when or if it will go away. I’m not sure what steps to take next. But I will be forever grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows me, understands what I am going through, and will help me through anything that I need to endure. I am still praying for relief.
I would appreciate insights from anyone who may have dealt with this or knows someone else who has dealt with it. Thank you.
You are awesome I hope you know, and a great example, and a true friend!! I hope that you will find relief again soon! I remember seeing you after your second shot in your pain free days and thought “Kristie is back, she’s laughing and happy!” I know that you can do whatever ends up happening. Sending you love:)
Oh my goodness, Kristie! I’m so sorry that you’ve had to go through all of that. I have never even heard of that happening. SO glad they figured it out and that you’re on the up-side of it now. My goodness! Please let me know if you need anything! I remember you saying that you didn’t feel like yourself months after having her, but I had no idea. :(
Kristie! I hope that this finally solves it! I couldn’t believe it when you told me (like a year ago) all the pain you had post baby. I think you are the strongest woman I know to deal with chronic pain that long. I really, really, really hope this is the answer and you can just heal and be pain free.
I’m also sorry to hear about your mom. But I have never seen any woman look so cute bald! I think your mom and all her sisters are adorable. I adore Kathy. You and your mom both will be in our prayer.
Hang in there!
Wow Kristie, what a journey. I remember you saying that your recovery was really hard but wow. The only thing I can relate to is in my last two pregnancies I had terrible pelvic floor pain. I think it was because the pressure of the baby made me swell and it was really terribly uncomfortable, I would have to lay down or sit a lot. But it sounds like ours are different things because once I had the baby, the problem wasn’t there anymore. I really hope that you have found a solution and that you will continue to be pain free! I am going to ask my midwife if she’s ever seen this before and if she has some suggestions on what may help. You are so strong! Praying for both you and your sweet mommy.
You may not remember back from trips to Moab but I thought I would let you know that my prayers are with you. I too have struggle with things not healing right post partum. My body starty producing the relaxin hormone too early in my pregnancy causing pubic bone pain almost all the the time. I was told it would go away. Then I had my son, it lasted. It was worst when I stood still or after I had sex (super tmi sorry). When the chiropractor and physical therapist could do nothing I was told that someone have it as long as they nurse. So at 13 months when he weaned I was hoping it would go away. It didn’t after much wikipedia ing I found out that some people suffer from bone shearing in the area (from either sports injuries or the bones being out of place frequently while pregnant). Sadly the bone shearing is indectable by x ray, only by surgery. Thankfully it is not too problematic, and not nearly as harrowing as your experience. But I just thought I would let you know that I know how hard it is to be a new mom and dealing with something that won’t heal. I still also have long term problems vaginally with sensitivity and pain that they cannot explain. Mine existed prior to pregnancy so its a little hard to say what its caused by. I am now pregnant again so I lost my chance to try estrogen cream. Best of luck and I hope you heal quickly.
Kristie I had no idea you have been going through so much, with the post pregnancy pain you are experiencing, to the emotional hardships with your moms chemo. Gosh, why does life have to be so hard sometimes? I know that I cannot relate fully to what you are going through, it must be so frustrating not knowing what is going on with your body and not being able to find a cure. My sister-in-law gets this weird excruciating pain in her abdomen when she is pregnant, and for her two pregnancy’s she is hospitalized the whole time, is on hard core pain killers and she still suffers. Watching her suffer was so awful because you feel so helpless. It was frustrating because most doctors are boneheads and they do everything by the book because of malpractice. It seemed as though no one could or would think outside the box, or no one cared enough to. My advice to you is to take matters in your own hands, which it seems like you already are by posting on facebook and blogging about it for other’s advice. But also do as much research you can on your own.
I am so sorry you are going through this, you will be in my prayers. I know I have never gone through what you are going through right now but I too have had my hardships. It was comforting for me to know that our savior knows just how you feel and he is there for you. I love you cute girl and hope everything gets better for you soon.
Kristie! I’m so sorry that you’ve been dealing with so much pain for so long! You are a trooper! A friend of mine had chronic vaginal pain, and they discovered a “Bartholin duct abscess” that had to be drained on several occasions, and eventually removed. Not sure at all if your situation is something similar, but she had a really hard time getting diagnosed with anything for a long, long time. The fluid buildup caused her excruciating pain, and when she would get it drained, it would provide a ton of relief! I know it’s a total shot in the dark, but just wanted to throw it out there – I’m so hoping that you can get this thing figured out soon!
Holy cow Kristie, I had no idea you were going through all of this. I wish I had some information that would be helpful. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
Kristie,
I’m so sorry I did not realize how severe things were for you, or how long they have been going on. I wish I knew what would help, but I will try to talk to others and see if I can get any ideas. You have obviously done tons of research and spent a lot of time trying to figure everything out. I’m praying a perfect solution comes for you soon!!