Our original plan was to stay in Idaho with my mom from the 9th of December, on through part of January. But, when my doctor decided that he could squeeze in a surgery for me before the end of the year we agreed that, that would be the best choice for us. The only day he could do it was on the 22nd of December. So our plan was to drive down on Tuesday night the 22nd, have the surgery on Thursday morning, then jump in the car, as soon as I was cleared by the hospital to leave, for the drive back to Idaho.

Lilah looking adorable in my hair net, before surgery.

This surgery has been a long time coming and I was excited about possibly finding some answers to the pain. Here’s the back story so that I can have it all written down for me. As a warning, this post may contain TMI for some of you, so read at your own risk. I however, want to remember the details.

After having Lilah back in June 2010 I found myself in a whole lot of pain. “Well duh,” you might say, “you just had a baby.” That’s also what I told myself. I told myself that this must be what everyone feels and that it would pass. During my first week home with our new baby I started realizing that something might be wrong, but I was in denial and felt guilty even questioning whether I could be in more pain than some other women. All I knew for sure was that I had hemorrhoids , and that I torn quite bad (categorized at a 2nd degree but Dr said it was on the verge of being a 3rd degree). That was somewhat normal, as far as I had heard, and didn’t explain all the pain I was in.

I ended up going into the doctor 2 times before my six week appointment to see what they could find. On the first appointment they were a little concerned with how little I had healed, but gave me some cream and sent me home. On my second appointment they found the first real issue. Apparently I was allergic to dissolvable stitches. I had wondered why they were all still there, but didn’t even know you could be allergic to them. They were reacting with my flesh and causing a lot of inflammation. They had to manually take out each and every stitch. I never want to have to experience someone digging slivers out of my very inflamed girl parts ever again! The nurse apologetically told me that 2 small peaces had broken off in the process that she could not get to and that I would have to try and work them out over time… Because of how painful this experience was, I assumed that that must have been my problem and that I would now start to recover.

Within a few days I realized that this was far from the truth. The stinging from the stitches was gone, but there was a deep and sharp aching that never seemed to fade. From there began the real searching. I did a lot of research online. I was tested for pretty much everything you can think of. I was looked at by many doctors & nurses. I was sent in for 2 different ultra sounds (internal & external). I was checked out by a vein specialist.  I was sent to 10 weeks of therapy with a pelvic floor dysfunction specialist, and found nothing that took the pain away.

I started tracking my pain around the 6 month postpartum mark and noticed that I was experiencing pain about 50% of the days, but  it was becoming more and more frequent. In 2 months it climbed to 87% of the days.

While seeing my therapist she found a strange bump in my vaginal wall that caused a lot of pain when it was touched, so I questioned my OB doctor about it. He was hopeful, and thought it sounded like a ‘nerve bundle.’ He said that when I tore so badly, my nerves could have healed up into a bundle in that particular area. The only way to find out if this was true was to do some tests. We decided to inject the site with an anesthetic/steroid solution. He warned me that it would hurt because of the stinging solution & because it was being injected into a nerve bundle. He had to give me 3 of them… I did not expect it to hurt that bad.

The first shot didn’t work. The pain got worse. My painful days increased to about 96% . We did a 2nd shot (Oct 17, 2010). It was the most painful shot of all, but something amazing happened. I was pain free for 7 days… I can’t even tell you what that felt like. I didn’t realize how bad it had been until I was reminded what pain free was. I laughed a lot that week. I smiled a lot. I got a lot done. I felt like I could take on the world. I also cried and gave thanks that we had actually found something.

Then, the pain came back. I was still filled with an incredible gratitude for the path that had led me to some sort of answer, but worried about how the problem could be resolved.

This brings me to the surgery. We would do 1 more injection before I was put under. Then they would do a laparoscopy to explore what could be going on inside. They found some endometriosis and cauterized it. It was concentrated on the same side and area as the nerve bundle. My doctor thinks that is not a coincidence. The endometriosis is not the main pain culprit, but could be causing the nerve bundle to fire. Dr Thorpe is hopeful that when I heal from the cauterizing that I will be pain free.

As for now, I am still in pain. I don’t know when or if it will go away. I’m not sure what steps to take next. But I will be forever grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows me, understands what I am going through, and will help me through anything that I need to endure. I am still praying for relief.

I would appreciate insights from anyone who may have dealt with this or knows someone else who has dealt with it. Thank you.