I don’t know why we hadn’t thought of doing this before, but Lacey, Becca and I finally decided to get together and have a girls night. We didn’t have much of a plan, but decided to make some cute crepe paper flowers to decorate for Valentines day. Tom was even able to take Lilah to scouts with him so we would have the night to ourselves.

We ran to the store and grabbed some pipe cleaners, which was the only purchase we had to make. The rest of the stuff we already had on hand. We had a great time and made a bunch of flowers. We made enough for everyone to have a little table display. Sadly, I forgot to take a picture of us all together. Thanks again girls! Can’t wait to do it again.

Here’s Lilah, in a pair of boots that belongs to Travis’ roommate.

The very next night, we headed over to Houston and Becca’s apartment for some delicious homemade soup! We felt so spoiled! Two delicious dinners that we didn’t even have to make. We were able to bring a side dish of our garden carrots to Becca & Houston’s place. I’m still so amazed that you can leave carrots in the ground all winter without them getting limp or going bad! You just go out and dig them up as you need them! Garden carrots always taste much better than store bought ones too. Lacey and Travis came over as well and we all enjoyed the time to just relax and catch up. Lilah adores all of these people says their names all the time!

Thanks again guys! Wish we could see everyone else this often too!

I have to say, this age is my favorite so far! I was really looking forward to having a child to play with and I feel like I have that now! I would also say that this is the busiest and most stressful (at times), but still my favorite. Here are a few things about Lilah right now.

She is potty trained!! We go shopping, to friends houses, out to eat, to church, etc all with underwear on and she has done fantastic! I still put a diaper on for her nap and at bedtime. But I’ll take day time potty trained for now! I think it might be a little while before she can hold it through the night. She has been wearing underwear exclusively since 17 1/2 months. She started telling me she had to go “poo poo” back in September (13 months), but wasn’t very consistent at first. I still did diapers, but would take her to the potty every time she told me. She loved getting to read a book for going. She definitely learned how to control #2 first. #1 was more of a challenge, especially at first when I felt like she needed to go every 15 minutes. When December came around things changed & she only needed to go every 2 hours or so. She has definitely been the driving force behind this, and it has been fun to watch her learn to communicate what she wants.

Lilah loves music. She begs us to sing her songs, especially at bedtime. The first thing she asks for in the car is her “meme” (music). She tries to sing along at church, and sometimes when no one else is singing. When she wakes up in the morning or from her nap I will often hear her singing over the monitor. She has such a sweet little voice. In this photo she had awesome nap hair! Daddy decided to share his new headphones with her (don’t worry the volume was very low & this was a one time thing for a picture). She was listening to Feist sing 1,2,3,4.

She knows how to work my iphone! She’ll unlock it, scroll back to the page with her games & pictures, & selects what she wants. I have to keep it hidden so that she doesn’t become a gamer… ;-). But in all seriousness I don’t like her to play with it very often because I want her to build up her own imagination.  But it is really nice for some car trips, my doctor visits, etc.

Lilah still loves to read books and looks forward to our trips to the library. She will listen while we read books for a long, long time. I still haven’t found her limit.

Lilah is my little helper. She will pick up a “dowl” (towel) and then wipe down the floor, the chairs, the cupboards, and anything else she thinks needs cleaning. She loves to throw “dash” (trash) in the garbage can & will go hunting for something that I will let her throw away. She also likes to help me vacuum.

Lately she has been asking for my permission to do everything. She’ll point to what she wants to do (eat something, drink, put a hat on, color on the wall, etc) then say “huh…? huh…?” and “yes?” with a questioning tone. She will keep doing this until I answer her very convincingly. Most of the time I have to say “yes” about 5 times before she will actually trust me. Then she’ll will repeat what I said (“yes” or “no”) and proceed accordingly. It’s super cute & I’m kind of glad to get a warning before she tries to do something I don’t want her to do. I doubt this will last long.

She has a new surprised reaction where she lets out a little gasp and opens her eyes and mouth wide. She will do this for the funniest things like, when I tell her what we are having for dinner, or that daddy is coming home soon, or that it’s time to put her shoes on, etc. The best part is that her eyes don’t show the intensity that the sound does.

Her favorite foods right now are raisins, “bobolie” broccoli, “mumu” mushrooms, “nunu” noodles, “deese” cheese, beans, “bebes” berries, frozen bananas, “wawa” waffles, “teats” treats/fruit leather, olives, avacado, smoothies, “bep” or “doast” bread or toast, & kefir grains (I don’t know why she likes these…she discovered them while I had my back turned, but she will beg for them every time I get the kefir out). She still loves to eat, and will out-eat me sometimes.

Loves taking socks off and putting them back on over and over again.

Today while I was putting the groceries away I could hear her saying a prayer. I walked over to see what she was doing & found her with a few empty food bowls set out. She was kneeling down, folding her arms, and saying a prayer over her fake food! I thought it was so adorable! I was even able to get a picture.

She loves baths, the snow, outside, rocks, being chased & tickled, pretending to be a doggie, pointing to her “owie” scar, saying prayers, welcoming daddy home, exercising with me & my clients, nursery, and mommy.

She s talking more and more all the time. She usually surprises me every day by saying something that I didn’t know she knew.

She is very affectionate and gives lots of hugs and kisses. She still isn’t cuddly, but I enjoy what I can get.

She is still nursing, and I am realizing that this will be a lot more difficult to give up than I anticipated. I am in the process of weaning her, but I’m not sure how long this will take. She will ask and cry for it, and I don’t want this to be a traumatic experience for her. So I will just take my time and make the change easier for her.

We love this little girl so much and are very grateful for the addition that she is to our family!

Sleepy Lilah on one of our many trips this month.

Playing in a fort.

Here’s the fort that Tom made for Lilah, before all the cousins had arrived for the week. She loved it!

Lunch with a bunch of my high school girl friends! I had just had my surgery the day before and was so grateful that I was still able to go. I wish more people could have been there, but it was fun to catch up with those who could make it!

The boys decided that it would be funny to try on a few of mom’s wigs (with her permission of course)! Pretty sick if you ask me! 

Christmas eve dinner was a lot of fun! We all got to eat on mom’s special Christmas china and have a candle lit dinner. The food was delicious too!

After dinner we had a really fun time letting the kids act out the nativity… Angela described it perfectly on her blog, “First no one wanted to be the donkey, then Matthew & Caleb both wanted to be the donkey, then Emily-who was supposed to be a shepherd-decided she wanted to ride the donkey, meanwhile Lilah (Mary) tossed the doll out of the manger and hopped in herself, then Emily decided that looked like fun and hoped in the manger too.” We all laughed a lot, but it was still a very special & spiritual evening.

Christmas morning turned out really well. We went to church (9am), then came back and opened presents. I wouldn’t mind if Christmas was on a Sunday every year! The kids were all very excited, and I loved being able to feel their excitement. Lilah still wasn’t that great at opening gifts, but loved getting what was inside. She especially loved her very first all-fruit fruit snacks in her stocking! She just kept giggling, and I couldn’t get to interested in anything else. I was excited about our stockings this year that were filled with fruit, fruit snacks, fruit leather, larabars, honey sticks, and a few small gifts.

Dad, making good use of Tom’s new buckyballs. I don’t know if I’ve seen a funnier picture of him!

We got a chance to do some service for a neighbor.

Playing UNO with Grandma.

My parents got a cat for Christmas to help with rodents outside, and we all loved her! She was so sweet!

Playing with Ang & Jeffs new Wii game. This was so funny to watch!

Playing dodge-ball at the church.

The grand-kids all got hippity-hops for Christmas, from Grandma & Grandpa, so we tried them out in church gym.

Lilah & Emily rocking themselves in the little baby cradle. Theses girls were so cute together, and I think they will only become better and better friends.

We were able to all go out to eat this trip. It was a nice, relaxing night thanks to the babysitter who listened for the kids at home. Sadly, Travis (Lacey’s boyfriend) had to head back to Provo for a few days that very afternoon & missed our fun little outing. We were happy to have him back that weekend for New Years!

We all had such a great time together, and as always, it was difficult to say goodbye. Thanks again Mom & Dad for letting us fill your house with craziness! We love being there.

Lilah looking adorable in my hair net, before surgery.

This surgery has been a long time coming and I was excited about possibly finding some answers to the pain. Here’s the back story so that I can have it all written down for me. As a warning, this post may contain TMI for some of you, so read at your own risk. I however, want to remember the details.

After having Lilah back in June 2010 I found myself in a whole lot of pain. “Well duh,” you might say, “you just had a baby.” That’s also what I told myself. I told myself that this must be what everyone feels and that it would pass. During my first week home with our new baby I started realizing that something might be wrong, but I was in denial and felt guilty even questioning whether I could be in more pain than some other women. All I knew for sure was that I had hemorrhoids , and that I torn quite bad (categorized at a 2nd degree but Dr said it was on the verge of being a 3rd degree). That was somewhat normal, as far as I had heard, and didn’t explain all the pain I was in.

I ended up going into the doctor 2 times before my six week appointment to see what they could find. On the first appointment they were a little concerned with how little I had healed, but gave me some cream and sent me home. On my second appointment they found the first real issue. Apparently I was allergic to dissolvable stitches. I had wondered why they were all still there, but didn’t even know you could be allergic to them. They were reacting with my flesh and causing a lot of inflammation. They had to manually take out each and every stitch. I never want to have to experience someone digging slivers out of my very inflamed girl parts ever again! The nurse apologetically told me that 2 small peaces had broken off in the process that she could not get to and that I would have to try and work them out over time… Because of how painful this experience was, I assumed that that must have been my problem and that I would now start to recover.

Within a few days I realized that this was far from the truth. The stinging from the stitches was gone, but there was a deep and sharp aching that never seemed to fade. From there began the real searching. I did a lot of research online. I was tested for pretty much everything you can think of. I was looked at by many doctors & nurses. I was sent in for 2 different ultra sounds (internal & external). I was checked out by a vein specialist.  I was sent to 10 weeks of therapy with a pelvic floor dysfunction specialist, and found nothing that took the pain away.

I started tracking my pain around the 6 month postpartum mark and noticed that I was experiencing pain about 50% of the days, but  it was becoming more and more frequent. In 2 months it climbed to 87% of the days.

While seeing my therapist she found a strange bump in my vaginal wall that caused a lot of pain when it was touched, so I questioned my OB doctor about it. He was hopeful, and thought it sounded like a ‘nerve bundle.’ He said that when I tore so badly, my nerves could have healed up into a bundle in that particular area. The only way to find out if this was true was to do some tests. We decided to inject the site with an anesthetic/steroid solution. He warned me that it would hurt because of the stinging solution & because it was being injected into a nerve bundle. He had to give me 3 of them… I did not expect it to hurt that bad.

The first shot didn’t work. The pain got worse. My painful days increased to about 96% . We did a 2nd shot (Oct 17, 2010). It was the most painful shot of all, but something amazing happened. I was pain free for 7 days… I can’t even tell you what that felt like. I didn’t realize how bad it had been until I was reminded what pain free was. I laughed a lot that week. I smiled a lot. I got a lot done. I felt like I could take on the world. I also cried and gave thanks that we had actually found something.

Then, the pain came back. I was still filled with an incredible gratitude for the path that had led me to some sort of answer, but worried about how the problem could be resolved.

This brings me to the surgery. We would do 1 more injection before I was put under. Then they would do a laparoscopy to explore what could be going on inside. They found some endometriosis and cauterized it. It was concentrated on the same side and area as the nerve bundle. My doctor thinks that is not a coincidence. The endometriosis is not the main pain culprit, but could be causing the nerve bundle to fire. Dr Thorpe is hopeful that when I heal from the cauterizing that I will be pain free.

As for now, I am still in pain. I don’t know when or if it will go away. I’m not sure what steps to take next. But I will be forever grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows me, understands what I am going through, and will help me through anything that I need to endure. I am still praying for relief.

I would appreciate insights from anyone who may have dealt with this or knows someone else who has dealt with it. Thank you.

We headed up to Idaho about a week after arriving home from our Boston trip. My mom started chemo on the 1st of December and we were fortunate enough to be able to head up there to help out. My mom is an amazing woman, and I look up to her so much. She has an amazing attitude about life’s trials and her unfortunate situation with cancer is no exception.

We actually stopped in Twin Falls for Tyson & Kaylee’s wedding dinner that Friday night. My parents and little brother Cole met us there. It was fun to be able to see so many family members on the Haworth side. We spent the night there in Twin and attended their wedding in the Twin Falls temple in the morning. The ceremony was beautiful and I found myself feeling very grateful for my own eternal companion. I can’t believe that it has almost been 4 years!

All the Haworth sisters with Grandma & Grandpa Haworth at the wedding dinner.

Tyson & Kaylee after the wedding:

We drove up to Boise that afternoon and attended their wedding reception in downtown Boise that night. The Boise temple is closed right now for maintenance, and that is why they did the wedding in Twin Falls. Soon they will have 2 temples in the area! Boise will reopen and the Meridian temple will be build just a few miles from my parents home! We are all very excited!

I was fun to have Heidi, Cathy and Kylee come back to my mom’s house. We all went to the reception together that night then they all flew out the next day.

My mom’s 2nd treatment was the following Thursday morning. Her treatments usually last from about 9:30am-2pm. She meets with doctors & nurses, gets tests done, & gets the treatment. After her 2nd treatment we decided to go to a wig shop and pick one out. Mom hadn’t lost her hair by this point, but she could tell that it would be happening soon. We spent a good 2 hours trying on just about every wig in the shop! We had a good time and both decided that it was fun to at least pick whatever hairstyle you want when you loose your hair. Again, my mom has an amazing attitude. Here are a few she tried on:

We ended up picking 2 different wigs! They are quite different, and it’ll be fun for her to switch up which one she wears. It was a good thing we got the wigs so soon because just a few days after the 2nd treatment she decided to shave her head. Her hair was coming out in handfuls and loosing your hair is actually quite painful. It felt a lot better once it was all gone. She had me shave it. I forgot how cute she looks with her little bald head.

This kind of chemotherapy has been the most difficult. Her appetite goes, and the nausea and fatigue take it’s place. It’s been much worse than her last experience a couple years ago. It’s been hard to see my mom this sick, but it is much easier when I am here with her and can see it for myself. She has a way of making you feel happy and at peace with her condition. She is so strong and it is contagious. I have learned  so much from her positive attitude and faith. Thank you mom for being the most incredible women I know.

We also got to walk around Blickenstaff’s again. I feel like a little kid every time I walk into that store! Clover and Lilah had fun playing with the little shopping carts and riding the toy horse.

Before super glue (the image we sent to Jeff):

After super glue and bandages